Thursday, May 04, 2006

Two Roads

Jittery.

Nervous.

Nerve-endings tingle and burn...

...and there's a sense that I'm going to crack any second.

These are the times that I can allow myself to take two roads.

I can embrace these feelings and offer compassion for myself, a mental hug. I can offer myself assurance and encouragement. I can say: 'Just as the down times come...so do the brighter, more optimistic feelings.

Or, I can try and fight and deny these feelings. That's a hard battle. Victory is not won easily, and there is nothing in it that prepares me for the next time I am visited by dark feelings.

What rises falls. And may I know this simple truth today and take comfort in it.

12 comments:

rose said...

You're reminding me of when my anxiety disorder gets the best of me... in those times you just have to breathe and give yourself over. Not to 'god' or 'higher forces' but just to the idea that you need to trust in the way everything is unfolding..? I don't know if that makes sense.

Buddy said...

Perfect sense, Rose. And wonderful advice, too.

So true that you need to embrace this, yes? The other way, fighting it, never works that well.

Thank you for your kindness. - B

RennyBA said...

Thanks for you're kind words and comment on my blog. Been busy, but back from Bulgaria now. Take care!

oggie said...

great piece there buddy. yeah, i do agree with you. i guess we're just humans in that sense that oftentimes, we're overwhelmed. and there's nothing better than to boil over but then again, at what cost?

Jeff Pioquinto,SJ said...

sometimes all we have to do is to be patient and wait for all shall be well.

i'm in cebu city (southern philippines) and i'll be staying here for two years. too bad we don't have internet connection here in our community and i have to go out to look for internet shop.

i hope you'll doing okay. take care always.

jeff,sj

Buddy said...

Buddy said...

Every blessing, my friend.

Good luck in your new assignment, and I will remember to pray for you and your students.

May God continue to fill you with love and compassion for others.

Thanks for your kind comments.

I am doing well.

Love, Bud

Noel Y. Bava said...

and yet what falls has nothing left to it but rise again.

it's a state buddy. i know because i have been through rougher and worse times myself. but you know what, i'm beginning to believe the saying that "what can't kill you can only make you strong."

RennyBA said...

Hi Bud. I know you like to read about Norway, so there is a new post from Bergen for you :-)

Buddy said...

Noel -

Wise words, and I truly believe that, too.

At times, all I want to do is escape these rough times. But, I think that, more and more, the answer is giving 'down' feelings time, acknowledging that it's okay to have them, and accept them as part of my experience, cycle, whatever.

I find that when I can do that, it cuts their power over me.

Thanks for caring.

Peace, Bud

Buddy said...

Renny,

Can't wait to go & see.

Thanks!

AL said...

Hei Buddy,
have been an absentee for awhile but I am back.

...I have no comment I am on this road. :(

Rambukk said...

Strong words, best wishes.