Monday, March 20, 2006
Tuesday, March 07, 2006
Sunday, March 05, 2006
During meditation yesterday, as I was focusing on my breath, I became aware of a message.
It was a kind of 'knowing': 'Pay attention to the space between the breaths, too.'
So I began to become aware of that space, how my lungs feel as they get ready to fill up again...the slight pang of compression that comes before I actually draw in the new air.
That space...that second in which the body takes a break from breathing...is very interesting. It is also uncomfortable.
As I practiced over and over again, I became aware that this space, this uncomfortability, is part of the process. It is to be noticed...even appreciated...along with the joyful reassurance of full, satisfied lungs.
I think that this was a good message for me to hear...and to know.
The uncomfortable parts of life are part of the process, my process. The stuff you can't figure out or that causes you pain and suffering--they are tied into the fun, peaceful times.
Sad or happy, mad or at peace...these are just states of body and mind. They don't define me.
And, if I choose to...or if I'm disciplined enough...I can recognize that...and accept the pluses and minuses together--as just experiences, simply experiences.
One by one, they will arise and fall away...but I'll still be here.
Posted by Just a human at 7:06 PM
Friday, March 03, 2006
Sometimes it's so hard for me to just be.
It's like I've got this war going on inside of my head, a series of debates.
It happens when something makes me sad or angry, and the internal conversation typically sounds like this: "Oh, that's not right...I shouldn't have thought that!" Or, "Don't be so judgemental of him/her."
I get so tired sometimes because I don't want to figure everything out...and yet...I feel like I have this need to do that. And then there are situations in life, encounters with friends or family--or personal issues that I deal with daily--that I haven't got any power over. But I'm still left with these feelings of helplessness or anger or judgement -- a sense that something is wrong, like a murky cloud that hugs the earth...obstructing my view.
I don't like feeling this way.
I'm throwing my hands up. I surrender.
- May I have compassion for my feelings.
- May I feel God's spirit telling me that it's okay.
- May I just be.
- May everybody, everywhere know that it's okay to just be.
Posted by Just a human at 7:14 AM