Friday, March 03, 2006

Sometimes it's so hard for me to just be.

It's like I've got this war going on inside of my head, a series of debates.

It happens when something makes me sad or angry, and the internal conversation typically sounds like this: "Oh, that's not right...I shouldn't have thought that!" Or, "Don't be so judgemental of him/her."

I get so tired sometimes because I don't want to figure everything out...and yet...I feel like I have this need to do that. And then there are situations in life, encounters with friends or family--or personal issues that I deal with daily--that I haven't got any power over. But I'm still left with these feelings of helplessness or anger or judgement -- a sense that something is wrong, like a murky cloud that hugs the earth...obstructing my view.

I don't like feeling this way.

I'm throwing my hands up. I surrender.

  • May I have compassion for my feelings.
  • May I feel God's spirit telling me that it's okay.
  • May I just be.
  • May everybody, everywhere know that it's okay to just be.

2 comments:

Jeff Pioquinto,SJ said...

hello buddy,

maybe it would help if we would learn how to let go of our inordinate attachments and at the same time learn how to hold on to things that bring us closer to our God.

thanks and be assured that i'll always include you in my prayers. God bless

Buddy said...

thank you! very true!